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Friday, May 15, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    New Perth to Bunbury train named The Polar Express in honour of how much ice she’ll move

    The Australind train is looking for a new name after the Premier called out to the public for some inspiration. Having already ruled out any…

    Belle May 15, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    King Neptune Park in Two Rocks expected to be completed before he awakens to feed again

    A highly anticipated reinvigoration of the area around King Neptune’s Statue in Two Rocks is expected to be completed before the Greek God’s next blood…

    Belle May 15, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Rockingham Man Names Daughter After Ex to Save on Tattoo Removal

    Dielyr was absolutely positive he was never going to regret getting “Krystal” tattoo’d prominently on his arm. After all, she was his ride or die…

    Belle May 14, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Hantavirus cruise passengers to complete 3-week quarantine in traffic after light drizzle forecast for Perth tomorrow

    The passengers from the ill-fated hantavirus cruise will fly into Perth tomorrow at the Netherlands unceremoniously told them to “rot op” or get the fark…

    Belle May 14, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Coles begins asking customers if they’d like to round up & donate to their misleading conduct fine

    In news that will surprise no one, Coles has been found guilty of misleading consumers over it’s Down Down campaign by the Federal Court. The…

    Belle May 14, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

Diary extracts of a former footy country star | Part 1: The Wedding

Belle April 13, 2025

Dear diary, how ya garn? Macka here. Had a ripper weekend going back home for me mate’s wedding. It’s important for blokes of my status…

View More Diary extracts of a former footy country star | Part 1: The Wedding
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Inedible generic eggs prepare for least anticipated Easter comeback tour thanks to cost-of-living crisis

Belle April 13, 2025

Inedible generic easter eggs were a staple of many childhoods. Their oily consistency reminded one of the sorts of joy that could only usually be…

View More Inedible generic eggs prepare for least anticipated Easter comeback tour thanks to cost-of-living crisis
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Millennial gives thanks every day social media wasn’t around during his Nu Metal era 

Belle April 11, 2025

An ageing millennial takes a moment at least once a day to thank the powers that be that social media was in its infant stages…

View More Millennial gives thanks every day social media wasn’t around during his Nu Metal era 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Newly Single Man Deploys Double-Popped Collar To Devastating Effect 

Belle April 10, 2025

The early 2000s called, they want their stud back. Newly single man Dave has just put himself back on the market after a solid 20…

View More Newly Single Man Deploys Double-Popped Collar To Devastating Effect 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

Trump refuses to pause tariff on Wittenoom stating he will make American asbestos great again

Belle April 10, 2025

President Trump has sensationally backflipped on his ridiculous tariffs today after realising destroying the global economy may not make him too popular. However, he remains…

View More Trump refuses to pause tariff on Wittenoom stating he will make American asbestos great again
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

WA slaps reciprocal tariff on Lady Gaga’s beef with Perth following tour snub

Belle April 9, 2025

The great nation of Westralia has served back a massive fark you to Lady Gaga after if was announced she was going to dog Perth…

View More WA slaps reciprocal tariff on Lady Gaga’s beef with Perth following tour snub

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TRENDING NEWS

  • New Perth to Bunbury train named The Polar Express in honour of how much ice she’ll move
  • King Neptune Park in Two Rocks expected to be completed before he awakens to feed again
  • Rockingham Man Names Daughter After Ex to Save on Tattoo Removal
  • Hantavirus cruise passengers to complete 3-week quarantine in traffic after light drizzle forecast for Perth tomorrow
  • Coles begins asking customers if they’d like to round up & donate to their misleading conduct fine
  • Property investor forced to get into gas extraction to continue ripping off Australians

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