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Tuesday, September 01, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Giant red bin erected in Secret Harbour to commemorate by-election win

    Secret Harbour is waking up to the dawn of a new age. Not only did they vote to leave the EU but they have now…

    Belle August 31, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Travel

    Jetstar outdoes South African plane’s dangerously close flyover stunt by getting dangerously close to not cancelling a flight

    Rugby fans were left amazed and in need of new grundies after two Airlink planes performed a dangerously close flyover of DHL Stadium in Cape…

    Belle August 31, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Secret Harbour set to leave the EU after One Nation victory

    The first order of business for British outpost Secret Harbour is to break the shackles of what they feel is a bad deal as a…

    Belle August 30, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    AFL scraps Wildcard Round effective immediately after Collingwood fail to make finals

    The AFL has announced that in hindsight it had wasted its and everyone else’s time with this wildcard malarkey after it failed to get Collingwood…

    Belle August 29, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Donald Trump hits hole-in-one on the 12th at The Cut in Dawesville

    Some say it’s nearly impossible to ace the 12th at The Cut against the howling Mandurah breeze but US President Donald Trump proved the haters…

    Belle August 28, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

An honest review of Perth tap water

Belle April 1, 2025

Let’s talk Western Australian tap water. Some people say it tastes like Aquaman’s precumies after a regrettable night with a garden of sea anemones. We’ve…

View More An honest review of Perth tap water
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Travel

Local weeb wants you bogans to know he was going to Japan before it was popular

Belle April 1, 2025

A Western Australian weeb or “anime-enthusiast” as he prefers to be called has launched an extraordinary attack on his fellow countrymen. Witnesses observed the fedora-clad…

View More Local weeb wants you bogans to know he was going to Japan before it was popular
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

BREAKING: Woolworths and Coles Admit to the Lot!

Belle April 1, 2025

In a move no one saw coming, Woolworths and Coles have released an extraordinary joint statement today copping the lot. From price gouging customers during…

View More BREAKING: Woolworths and Coles Admit to the Lot!
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

A Day In the Life Of A West Coast Supporter

Belle March 31, 2025 A Day In The Life OfAFLFooty

8:00 am – wake up and enjoy the brief flutter of time before I remember the never-ending nightmare. Groan as I battle another rage-hangover after…

View More A Day In the Life Of A West Coast Supporter
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

Bloke swaps goose that lays golden eggs for a regular hen as egg prices soar

Belle March 31, 2025

A Perth bloke who had the good fortune of coming across a goose that lays golden eggs has reevaluated his business model amid the soaring…

View More Bloke swaps goose that lays golden eggs for a regular hen as egg prices soar
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Freo fan lowkey disappointed with Derby result as it takes steam out of the sack JLo campaign

Belle March 30, 2025

A staunch Flagmantle supporter has expressed a bittersweet mix of emotions today after the Dockers pummelled the Eagles in the 60th Western Derby. On the…

View More Freo fan lowkey disappointed with Derby result as it takes steam out of the sack JLo campaign

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Giant red bin erected in Secret Harbour to commemorate by-election win
  • Jetstar outdoes South African plane’s dangerously close flyover stunt by getting dangerously close to not cancelling a flight
  • Secret Harbour set to leave the EU after One Nation victory
  • AFL scraps Wildcard Round effective immediately after Collingwood fail to make finals
  • Donald Trump hits hole-in-one on the 12th at The Cut in Dawesville
  • AFL Requires proof of 10 Years of Social Media Meltdowns to Buy Flagmantle finals tickets

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