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Saturday, April 11, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Blow for Flagmantle as Mason Cox drafted to America

    Flagmantle’s 3 ruck dream has hit a major snag after new recruit Mason Cox was drafted to America pursuant to new laws enacted by their…

    Belle April 11, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    AFP drop Ben Roberts-Smith prosecution after some bloke from Mandurah tells them they have fark all

    The AFP has sensationally dropped all charges against Ben Roberts-Smith after some bloke from Mandurah launched a grammarless tirade against them on Facebook today. In…

    Belle April 10, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Middle-aged Scarborough gent confident girls will never question his age if he never stops wearing surf wear 

    A Scabs bachelor on the wrong side of 40 is confident that the girls half his age he habitually tries to converse with are none-the-wiser…

    Belle April 10, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    New Servo Supply Fears as Cargo Ship Full of Cheese Sausages Stuck in Strait of Hormuz

    First, it was fuel, now it’s something much bleaker for humanity – a shortage of cheese sausages is imminent in Australia after a ship full…

    Belle April 9, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Trump claims to have negotiated a ceasefire between Thornlie & Maddington

    The President of Peace aka the Rapid Oompa Loompa King has claimed another negotiation victory today declaring a ceasefire between the SOR Perth suburbs of…

    Belle April 9, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Harley Reid awarded the Dale Kickett Medal for services to derby demolition

Belle July 28, 2024

A panel of 3 judges unanimously awarded Eagles’ young’n the highest honour in a Western Derby – the Dale Kickett medal. From the bounce, the…

View More Harley Reid awarded the Dale Kickett Medal for services to derby demolition
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

WA Boomer traces all young people’s problems back to the lack of regular boondie fights

Belle July 25, 2024

Ron, a WA grandfather, has sensationally claimed that the significant decrease in clumped sand battles is the leading factor in every problem that Gen Z…

View More WA Boomer traces all young people’s problems back to the lack of regular boondie fights
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Entire 2006 Eagles playing squad appointed new coach of West Coast

Belle July 24, 2024

Western Australia footy media has been shocked by the announcement of the new coach of the West Coast Eagles. It was previously thought that Daryl…

View More Entire 2006 Eagles playing squad appointed new coach of West Coast
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Lynx Africa weaponised alongside cardboard “anti-sex beds” in Paris Olympic Village

Belle July 24, 2024

To “gently dissuade” athletes from running a fortnight long train on each other, the Paris Olympics has weaponised Lynx Africa to destroy female toeyness. Alongside…

View More Lynx Africa weaponised alongside cardboard “anti-sex beds” in Paris Olympic Village
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

A Day in the Life of a Westralian Who Can’t Handle A Little Bit of Winter 

Belle July 23, 2024 A Day In The Life Of

6:00 am – I awake the soviet horror of a cold draught creeping into my fortress of warmth. Despite the full frontal heat-assault I launch…

View More A Day in the Life of a Westralian Who Can’t Handle A Little Bit of Winter 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS True-ish Crime

Transit Officers Get Special Powers To Confiscate Phones Blaring Aussie Hip Hop

Belle July 22, 2024

Legislation has been rushed through parliament to grant the PTA officers the power to confiscate any phone on public transport that is blaring shit music…

View More Transit Officers Get Special Powers To Confiscate Phones Blaring Aussie Hip Hop

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Blow for Flagmantle as Mason Cox drafted to America
  • AFP drop Ben Roberts-Smith prosecution after some bloke from Mandurah tells them they have fark all
  • Middle-aged Scarborough gent confident girls will never question his age if he never stops wearing surf wear 
  • New Servo Supply Fears as Cargo Ship Full of Cheese Sausages Stuck in Strait of Hormuz
  • Trump claims to have negotiated a ceasefire between Thornlie & Maddington
  • Australind service to Bunbury to recommence once Australind Bunbury Bypass is completed

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