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Sunday, November 02, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Perth Couple Treasure Final Hours Of The Easter Break In A Pool Of Existential Dread

Belle April 1, 2024

Perth Couple Brit & Alex arrived home from a down south holiday just in time to catch the rain piss down after a 4.5-hour commute…

View More Perth Couple Treasure Final Hours Of The Easter Break In A Pool Of Existential Dread
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Port & Leighton Beach defy their geography and are awarded honorary SOR status

Belle April 1, 2024

Despite technically being located north of the Swan River, Leighton & Port Beach have officially been recognised as SOR beaches given their significance to the…

View More Port & Leighton Beach defy their geography and are awarded honorary SOR status
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Gosnells Easter Egg Hunt Goes Horribly Wrong After Kid Looks In Wrong Drawer 

Belle March 31, 2024 Bogan

A family catch-up on Easter Saturday has quickly become a shemozzle of immeasurable proportions after the hosts treated the kids in attendance to a little…

View More Gosnells Easter Egg Hunt Goes Horribly Wrong After Kid Looks In Wrong Drawer 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

REPORT: Down South Local is About to Blow!

Belle March 30, 2024 Down South

Ordinarily, down south local, Ray, would lock himself away on his Margaret River property until the blow-ins blow out on Monday afternoon. Alas, his relatives…

View More REPORT: Down South Local is About to Blow!
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

’06 Era West Coast Accuse Brisbane Lions of Cultural Appropriation Over Disastrous Vegas Trip

Belle March 30, 2024

West Coast has sensationally accused the Brisbane Lions of cultural appropriation after news broke that the minor premiers had a bit of a ‘mare in…

View More ’06 Era West Coast Accuse Brisbane Lions of Cultural Appropriation Over Disastrous Vegas Trip
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Aussie dads suffering acute withdrawal after Bunnings was closed for a whole day

Belle March 30, 2024

While many Australians who forgot to stock up on piss felt the effects of not having an alcoholic bevvie for a day, local dads felt…

View More Aussie dads suffering acute withdrawal after Bunnings was closed for a whole day

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

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  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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