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Saturday, April 04, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Police called to Perth Maccas after man explains his 5 Fillet-O-Fish order has nothing to do with Good Friday

    A Perth McDonalds has been left scrambling for answers today after a man boldly entered the store and ordered 5 Fillet-O-Fish burgers without even a…

    Belle April 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Local Seagulls Thank Catholic Guilt As They Prepare For Their Biggest Day Of The Year

    Good Friday is the official seagull grand final with over 500% more fish & chip munching families to terrorise in their endless pursuit for a…

    Belle April 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Local mum reconsiders catholic guilt as cost-of-living means ol mate Cap’n Birds Eye is coming for lunch

    Local mum Patricia has seriously questioned her annual display of faith after realising that the weekend budget doesn’t allow for the frills of bougie fish…

    Belle April 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    WA to Invoke Emergency Powers to Divert Froffs to Those Who Forgot to Stock Up Before Good Friday

    Roger Cook has called a special press conference to announce WA will be invoking emergency powers to stop the indignity of the Good Friday booze…

    Belle April 2, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    NASA Reveals Artemis Program Aims to Establish New Perth Suburb on Moon

    Plans for the latest Perth suburb in the ever-expansive sprawl have moved one step closer after the successful launch of the Orion as part of…

    Belle April 2, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Perth man wakes up with a vague, ominous recollection of being at Billy Lee’s early Sunday morning

Belle April 14, 2024

Perth pisswreck Damo has woken up with a memory that would rival Guy Pearce in Momento. As per usual, Damo has stuck his snout in…

View More Perth man wakes up with a vague, ominous recollection of being at Billy Lee’s early Sunday morning
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Ageing millennial accepts it’s all over after getting a bit too excited to see a bird

Belle April 12, 2024

Time comes for us all and Perth man Toby has accepted he is officially on a downward trajectory towards mortality after getting a bit too…

View More Ageing millennial accepts it’s all over after getting a bit too excited to see a bird
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

What your choice of Breakfast says about you

Belle April 11, 2024

Eggs Benny – you’re a hungover FIFO worker who is about to take a mid-brekkie break to make a Dome toilet the scene of a 25…

View More What your choice of Breakfast says about you
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

AFL to replace record with a definitive list ranking every slur

Belle April 10, 2024

The AFL has set an unusual precedent after effectively ranking the severity of slurs by reference to how may weeks you get pinged for uttering…

View More AFL to replace record with a definitive list ranking every slur
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Man didn’t purchase an appliance with a 4-star energy rating just to take the sticker off

Belle April 10, 2024

Local bigshot Adam has finally worked his way up the corporate ladder to a position that allows him to buy slightly above-average home appliances with…

View More Man didn’t purchase an appliance with a 4-star energy rating just to take the sticker off
Reckons Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

Top Signs You Might be a Conspiracy Theorist

Belle April 9, 2024

All or nothing – Maybe you started with a bong and a copy of Zeitgeist but soon your thoughts about the legality of income tax…

View More Top Signs You Might be a Conspiracy Theorist

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Police called to Perth Maccas after man explains his 5 Fillet-O-Fish order has nothing to do with Good Friday
  • Local Seagulls Thank Catholic Guilt As They Prepare For Their Biggest Day Of The Year
  • Local mum reconsiders catholic guilt as cost-of-living means ol mate Cap’n Birds Eye is coming for lunch
  • WA to Invoke Emergency Powers to Divert Froffs to Those Who Forgot to Stock Up Before Good Friday
  • NASA Reveals Artemis Program Aims to Establish New Perth Suburb on Moon
  • Albanese Expected to Remind Nation West Coast Are Back in Tonight’s Address

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