Local bigshot Adam has finally worked his way up the corporate ladder to a position that allows him to buy slightly above-average home appliances with his hard-earned.
Typically, he spent his adult life dwelling in the “cheap as humanly possible” realm of appliances that used more electricity than a British AirBNB guest with your reverse cycle remote in his scaly mitt.
Accordingly, Adam isn’t about to remove the 4-star rating sticker anytime soon. He told The Times,
“I was just like you once. Wasting energy. Not saving the environment but I have evolved. Check out this beaut. It’s practically making me money”
Playing the Devil’s Advocate, we asked Adam why he didn’t consider a 5 or even 6-star energy rating if the number mattered so much to him. He took a deep breath and told us,
“Look pal, who do I look like Bill Gates? Maybe I could’ve gone 5-star and just had no food to put in the fridge for a while but 6? You sound insane. Someone get this guy a blanket because he needs to lay down”
He raised a good point and it turns out his energy rating didn’t go unnoticed. We spoke to his mate who came over after the fridge was purring like a kitten in his kitchen. He told The Times,
“I walked in and saw the new fridge and he asked me what I thought. I had a look, opened up the doors, checked the freezer and then noticed the energy rating. I told him, 4 star? Nice”
Well, la di da. We asked Adam if he had any intention of taking off the energy rating sticker in the future. He bluntly told The Times, “no”.
Good thinking, especially after the local single lady community hears about his fridge’s rating. No doubt he’ll be fending it off with a stick.
Good onya Adam.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
