AFL to replace record with a definitive list ranking every slur

The AFL has set an unusual precedent after effectively ranking the severity of slurs by reference to how may weeks you get pinged for uttering them.

Jeremy Finlayson of Port received 3 weeks for the f-word. Clarko received a fine for his use of CS. Tex Walker copped 6 games for his racist slur. etc.

It leaves the public and the highly paid KCs who are engaged to argue these cases wondering what weight each individual slur carries.

A spokesperson for the AFL told The Times,

“Obviously we have gone down this path were we need to assess the severity of each slur which is difficult however we can’t really stop now. So we’ll be releasing a full list of all slurs and how many weeks you can expect for each one”

The usual suspects are expected to rate highly on the list while outdated slurs such as “lame” or “dumb” are expected to pool down near the bottom of the list.

It’s news to the legal profession and player’s ears as they can now drop slurs with the peace of mind they won’t be charged with high impact abuse.

Unsurprisingly, “white maggot”, an outdated term for an umpire which referred to colour of their uniform, will be regarded as high impact and will carry a 10-week penalty.

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