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Thursday, July 02, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Reluctant ServiceWA App User Proven Right as Government Operatives Swarm Him Over Outstanding 1992 State Library Fine Minutes After Downloading

    “I was right! I was right!”, a local handcuffed man wailed while covered in a thick layer of his own human shit. But who was…

    Belle July 1, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    New WA Tow Truck Regulations Require Operators to Obey the Laws of Space and Time Before Materialising at Scene

    The second tranche of WA’s tighter tow truck industry regulations have kicked in today and impose tighter conditions on rogue operators. Among the new changes…

    Belle July 1, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    LeBron Signs With Willetton Tigers Following Shock Lakers Exit

    One of the greatest basketballers to ever play the game has sensationally announced he’s leaving the Lakers. Naturally, the question on everyone’s lips is where…

    Belle July 1, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    Bunbury-Bound Passengers Drink Australind Dry Before It Even Reaches Byford

    In predictable fashion, the Perth to Bunbury crowd has run an absolute clinic on the Australind and consumed all she had to offer in the…

    Belle June 29, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

    An honest review of the Vic Park Centre car park

    What can be said about the Vic Park Centre car park that hasn’t already been said about the Stargate? It’s big, it’s inviting but once…

    Belle June 29, 2026
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Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

Perth Motorists Urged To Reconsider Driving After Almost 0.8mm Of Rain Hits

Belle April 30, 2024

Emergency services are urging Perth motorists to reconsider their need to travel by road given the unbridled shittery already seen after some light precipitation today.…

View More Perth Motorists Urged To Reconsider Driving After Almost 0.8mm Of Rain Hits
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

Surfer Joes Owner “Unconcerned” With Perth’s Wet Forecast

Belle April 28, 2024

Gazing nonchalantly at his novelty weather app, Simmo from Kwinana allegedly told a mate he “didn’t give a shit” about the forecasted rain next week.…

View More Surfer Joes Owner “Unconcerned” With Perth’s Wet Forecast
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

Success declared as Joondalup threatens to boycott train line over Yanchep name change 

Belle April 27, 2024

The citizens of Perth are chalking up a recent threat by the Joondalup people to boycott the train system over the “Yanchep Line” name change…

View More Success declared as Joondalup threatens to boycott train line over Yanchep name change 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

What your favourite piece of iconic Perth architecture says about you

Belle April 27, 2024

East Perth Public Transport Centre – your lust for a brutalist lifestyle knows no bounds. Your parents probably played death metal to you instead of lullabies.…

View More What your favourite piece of iconic Perth architecture says about you
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

Applying 8 common AFL rules to your social life

Belle April 26, 2024 AFLFooty

Substitution – at any stage of a pub session, the main group can substitute “your mate” for any reason but typically due to poor performance. This…

View More Applying 8 common AFL rules to your social life
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

WA declines Japan’s enthusiastic offer to help search for pod of whales that stranded yesterday

Belle April 26, 2024

The Great Nation of Japan has extended an offer to Western Australia they believed we couldn’t refuse after dozens of pilot whales were rescued yesterday…

View More WA declines Japan’s enthusiastic offer to help search for pod of whales that stranded yesterday

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Reluctant ServiceWA App User Proven Right as Government Operatives Swarm Him Over Outstanding 1992 State Library Fine Minutes After Downloading
  • New WA Tow Truck Regulations Require Operators to Obey the Laws of Space and Time Before Materialising at Scene
  • LeBron Signs With Willetton Tigers Following Shock Lakers Exit
  • Bunbury-Bound Passengers Drink Australind Dry Before It Even Reaches Byford
  • An honest review of the Vic Park Centre car park
  • A2 Launches Spearmint Formula Finally Recognising WA Babies Have Different Nutritional Needs

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