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Monday, November 03, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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BREAKING NEWS

WA prisons under investigation for using apricot chicken as punishment

Belle October 29, 2022

An investigation has been launched into the WA penal system after reports of misbehaving inmates were served up to 3 servings a day of Maggi…

View More WA prisons under investigation for using apricot chicken as punishment
BREAKING NEWS

Kalgoorlie gold miners switch exploration focus to lotto syndicates after another impressive strike

Belle October 28, 2022

Some of WA’s biggest gold miners have watched on in awe as a Kalgoorlie lotto syndicate records another impressive strike to the tune of $53M…

View More Kalgoorlie gold miners switch exploration focus to lotto syndicates after another impressive strike
BREAKING NEWS

Mystery WA Powerball winner outs himself after being spotted filling up a full tank of diesel

Belle October 28, 2022

A regional WA man has inadvertently outed himself as the winner of a large chunk of the $160M Powerball after an egregious display of wealth…

View More Mystery WA Powerball winner outs himself after being spotted filling up a full tank of diesel
BREAKING NEWS

Belmont man preemptively tells boss shove his job up his arse after buying lotto ticket from “lucky” kiosk 

Belle October 27, 2022

“What could go wrong?”, Jacko mused as he started planning his new life as a gazillionaire after picking up a ticket from a lucky kiosk.  Pontificating…

View More Belmont man preemptively tells boss shove his job up his arse after buying lotto ticket from “lucky” kiosk 
Featured From the Zoo Uncategorized

POSTCODES: BROOME 6725

Belle October 27, 2022

If you like it hot, Northern and jam-packed full of retirees, bogans, and backpackers then look no further. Find out why people are saying, “it’s…

View More POSTCODES: BROOME 6725
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Perth Stadium nudges out Marcus Stoinis for man of the match accolade 

Belle October 26, 2022

One could be fooled into thinking Stoinis’ heroic knock would earn him the man of the match in the T20 world cup match between Australia…

View More Perth Stadium nudges out Marcus Stoinis for man of the match accolade 

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

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