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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Thursday, July 03, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • BREAKING NEWS Featured

    Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 

    Western Australia has responded to Europe’s heatwave by sending the best of the best of our underground miners to give the country some perspective.  Parts…

    Belle July 3, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Freo Dockers have been training in a Wagin sheep paddock in preparation for the SCG turf

    The Fremantle Dockers have taken extreme measures to be ready for the disgraceful SCG turf on the weekend. Rather than training at their regular Cockburn…

    Belle July 3, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Eradication back on the cards after the Cuntbeetle was found to have jumped the queue for Rotto accommodation

    Well, well, well, the shot hole borer continues to endear itself to the WA public. This time, managing to get Rotto accommodation without a booking…

    Belle July 3, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Copper thieves urged to stop taking out street lights or Gen X won’t know when to return home

    WA Police have urged copper thieves operating primarily in Ellenbrook & Mandurah to stop immediately given Gen X only know when to return home when…

    Belle July 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Aussie dad amazes son with fable of the mythical tax refund 

    A Western Australian man has amazed his boy after treating him to a ripping yarn about an age where tax returns wandered the earth. Young…

    Belle July 1, 2025
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BREAKING NEWS Featured

Invisible Lats Syndrome Sufferer Sues Employer Over Inadequately Wide Doors

Belle July 24, 2022

In a landmark case, ol’ Terry Two-Canoes has brought legal action against his employer for lower back pain suffered by having to skew his body…

View More Invisible Lats Syndrome Sufferer Sues Employer Over Inadequately Wide Doors
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Bunnings denies hiring 1000’s of sketch artists related to ditching facial recognition cams

Belle July 24, 2022

The Australian Information Commissioner is reported highly suspicious of Bunnings & Kmart hiring thousands of sketch artists in the wake of ditching their controversial facial…

View More Bunnings denies hiring 1000’s of sketch artists related to ditching facial recognition cams
Party & Entertainment Unique & Other

Mr & Ms Splendour in the Grass

Belle July 23, 2022 EntertainmenthipsterNew AgeParty

Ben & Celeste’s Instagram bios are wankier than a boarding dorm after lights out. They claim they need your help to send them to Byron…

View More Mr & Ms Splendour in the Grass
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Seasoned Glastonbury Festival Brit Doesn’t Get What All The Splendour Weather Fuss Is About

Belle July 22, 2022

British backpackers are having trouble understanding why Australians are being so precious over the rained out Splendour In The Grass festival.  A British national who…

View More Seasoned Glastonbury Festival Brit Doesn’t Get What All The Splendour Weather Fuss Is About
BREAKING NEWS Featured

ATO Warns Rio Tinto Not To Try A $1 Billion “Laundry Claim” Next Year After Record Tax Avoidance Settlement

Belle July 22, 2022

The ATO says it has no time to pat itself on the back after reaching an agreement with mining giant Rio Tinto to pay an…

View More ATO Warns Rio Tinto Not To Try A $1 Billion “Laundry Claim” Next Year After Record Tax Avoidance Settlement
BREAKING NEWS Featured

BREAKING: New Super Resistant Strain Of Bacteria Discovered In Kelmscott Man Cave

Belle July 22, 2022

Scientists are both amazed and horrified after discovering a resistant strain of bacteria previously unknown to the scientific community.  Found under a disgusting couch in…

View More BREAKING: New Super Resistant Strain Of Bacteria Discovered In Kelmscott Man Cave

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Freo Dockers have been training in a Wagin sheep paddock in preparation for the SCG turf
  • Eradication back on the cards after the Cuntbeetle was found to have jumped the queue for Rotto accommodation
  • Copper thieves urged to stop taking out street lights or Gen X won’t know when to return home
  • Aussie dad amazes son with fable of the mythical tax refund 
  • Private school boy quietly confident his freshly cut mullet will help him connect with the common man

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  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
  • BoM To Reclassify Perth Storms Based On Likelihood Of Trampoline Blowing Away 
  • REPORT: Perth Man In Arctic Jacket & Shorts Doesn’t Care What You Think 
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