Perth Man Who Didn’t Get Tomorrow Off Has The Most Elegant Solution

Knowing he is one sickie away from termination, Perth man Simmo has hedged all his bets on 2 banging Maximum energy drinks in about an hour. 

Having drunk from 10am today, the office pleb has made several promises to himself during the day to “get on the waters”. Every promise has been butanother ace of clubs in his house of lies.

Currently slowly masticating on a plate of cold party pies, the young man told The Times that he had a plan,

“2L of Maximus before I crash out. She’ll be right. I’ll get about 8 hours at this rate and I reckon that’ll do the job”

Alas, some of his mate don’t reckon he’s prepared well enough. A witness to his midday indiscretions told The Times,

“You know he pissed himself earlier? Now he reckons 2L of sugary crap is going to get him over the line. I think he’s pretty deluded but I wish the best for him”

At the time of publishing the young man has vomited on his singlet and backed it up with a cruiser chaser. Goodluck old boy.

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