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Friday, April 10, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    AFP drop Ben Roberts-Smith prosecution after some bloke from Mandurah tells them they have fark all

    The AFP has sensationally dropped all charges against Ben Roberts-Smith after some bloke from Mandurah launched a grammarless tirade against them on Facebook today. In…

    Belle April 10, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Middle-aged Scarborough gent confident girls will never question his age if he never stops wearing surf wear 

    A Scabs bachelor on the wrong side of 40 is confident that the girls half his age he habitually tries to converse with are none-the-wiser…

    Belle April 10, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    New Servo Supply Fears as Cargo Ship Full of Cheese Sausages Stuck in Strait of Hormuz

    First, it was fuel, now it’s something much bleaker for humanity – a shortage of cheese sausages is imminent in Australia after a ship full…

    Belle April 9, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Trump claims to have negotiated a ceasefire between Thornlie & Maddington

    The President of Peace aka the Rapid Oompa Loompa King has claimed another negotiation victory today declaring a ceasefire between the SOR Perth suburbs of…

    Belle April 9, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    Australind service to Bunbury to recommence once Australind Bunbury Bypass is completed

    The WA Government has revealed the reason the Australind train to Bunbury is taking so long is due to a delay in constructing the Australind…

    Belle April 8, 2026
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From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: A Guide to Oktoberfest

Belle October 8, 2022

Guten tag! Anyone who has been to Oktoberfest in Munich knows how embarrassing Australians are at this event. This is mostly due to the damning…

View More IN FOCUS: A Guide to Oktoberfest
Reckons Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

Australian Thong Etiquette 101

Belle October 8, 2022

1. One can only retire a thong after suffering a critical blowout and not merely when it has morphed into a greasy extension of your…

View More Australian Thong Etiquette 101
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Thrice divorced dad says fark it, proposes to his AU station wagon

Belle October 6, 2022

An unlucky in love dad of two has conceded that “the one” has been under his nose this whole time. His ever reliable Ford AU…

View More Thrice divorced dad says fark it, proposes to his AU station wagon
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Man with E Plate & mandatory ignition interlock device doesn’t reckon anyone with an R Plate should be on the road 

Belle October 5, 2022

News of an R Plate for drivers returning to the road after an absence due to road trauma has caused a bit of a stir…

View More Man with E Plate & mandatory ignition interlock device doesn’t reckon anyone with an R Plate should be on the road 
BREAKING NEWS Featured

“Containers AGAINST Change” – WA boomers set up rival plastic container exchange program

Belle October 5, 2022

A group of WA boomers has looked at the success of WA’s Containers For Change program and decided they want a piece of that action.…

View More “Containers AGAINST Change” – WA boomers set up rival plastic container exchange program
BREAKING NEWS Featured

WA parents warn misbehaving kid they’ll stick a creepy Moscow Circus clown outside his window if he doesn’t pull his head in

Belle October 4, 2022

A couple of WA parents have found a novel way to ensure their bratty, bucktoothed crotch goblin behaves – by threatening to place a grim…

View More WA parents warn misbehaving kid they’ll stick a creepy Moscow Circus clown outside his window if he doesn’t pull his head in

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TRENDING NEWS

  • AFP drop Ben Roberts-Smith prosecution after some bloke from Mandurah tells them they have fark all
  • Middle-aged Scarborough gent confident girls will never question his age if he never stops wearing surf wear 
  • New Servo Supply Fears as Cargo Ship Full of Cheese Sausages Stuck in Strait of Hormuz
  • Trump claims to have negotiated a ceasefire between Thornlie & Maddington
  • Australind service to Bunbury to recommence once Australind Bunbury Bypass is completed
  • Cricket Australia Disappointed in Bancroft After Warner Charged with Blowing Numbers

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