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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Tuesday, November 04, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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    Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning

    A Perth bogan who found himself over refreshed and dangerously gee’d up has been counting his blessings while sitting in his piss soaked trousers at…

    Belle November 4, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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From the Zoo BREAKING NEWS

The REAL Top 5 Perth Tourist Attractions

Belle June 13, 2021

One can be forgiven for being overcome with a cold sweat at the thought of having to show friends or family around Perth for the…

View More The REAL Top 5 Perth Tourist Attractions
Unique & Other

The Natural/Organic Wine Enthusiast

Belle June 11, 2021

If you happen to be an alcoholic beverage, then Monique’s body is harder to get into than a night at the Roxbury. Any vino wishing…

View More The Natural/Organic Wine Enthusiast
Unique & Other Featured

The Perth South African

Belle June 10, 2021

Oscar’s parents were drawn to Perth’s white outer suburbs like parched warthogs to a watering hole. The rotting carcass of house & land packages provided…

View More The Perth South African
Belle's Lounge

Being a workplace snitch

Belle June 10, 2021 employmentprofessional

Were you born a professional humpback? Has nature been so cruel to stunt your natural charms & aptitude forcing you to lurk in the shadows…

View More Being a workplace snitch
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Perth’s Urban Sprawl

Belle June 8, 2021

Suck shit, Sochi, Russia – Perf is now believed to be the world champion at urban sprawl. From Two Rocks to Singleton, this bad boy…

View More IN FOCUS: Perth’s Urban Sprawl
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Canning Highway

Belle June 6, 2021

If Stirling Highway is the Ted Bundy of people’s will to live then Canning Highway is surely a sad little copycat trying to grasp at…

View More IN FOCUS: Canning Highway

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Central accommodation, a feed and already dressed for his date with the Magistrate, Ascot race day Bogan winning
  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
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  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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