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Saturday, January 31, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Fremantle responds to bridge closures by installing a slackline across the river

    The world’s longest slackline running from North Fremantle to South Beach will be installed tomorrow when the bridge closes.  The emergency slackline is expected to…

    Belle January 31, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    WA Government to offer a buyback amnesty for all cars with insufferable burble tunes 

    The Western Australian Government has launched a new initiative to take obnoxious gunshot noises off our streets.  Owners of vehicles with burble tunes or any…

    Belle January 31, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    Homelander has a most elegant solution to the LandCruiser clogging up his scenic Caves Road drive

    Old mate Homelander is in the South West currently filming a new Netflix surfing show.  To pass some time between shooting, he decided to enjoy…

    Belle January 31, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Bunnings customer brings own trailer and actually knows how to reverse it

    Witnesses at the Leach Highway Bunnings have been left looking like a school of stunned mullets today after a typical clean shirt flog attended the…

    Belle January 30, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

    A day in the life of an electrician 

    5:30 am – I wake up with a sore back, not from working too hard but because I’ve accidentally fallen asleep on a pile of…

    Belle January 30, 2026
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BREAKING NEWS Featured

Parmi/Parma Disagreement Tearing Perth Mate’s Friendship Apart

Belle September 10, 2021

Brett and Taylor had enjoyed a most amicable friendship for almost a decade. However, there was an ever-present simmering resentment that was slowly breaking down…

View More Parmi/Parma Disagreement Tearing Perth Mate’s Friendship Apart
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Qantas to Scalp GF Tickets for Thrice the Price – “It wouldn’t feel like a grand final if we didn’t rip off West Aussies”

Belle September 9, 2021

Qantas executives have been unable to sleep since the AFL announced the 2021 Grand Final would be played in Perth this year.  Ripping off West…

View More Qantas to Scalp GF Tickets for Thrice the Price – “It wouldn’t feel like a grand final if we didn’t rip off West Aussies”
BREAKING NEWS Featured

“Trees are a hoax” – Clive to Launch HC Challenge to Force WA to Continue Logging Native Forests

Belle September 9, 2021

Sources from within the Palmer camp say the rotund litigation pest was livid that WA dared to create policy without first checking with him.  In…

View More “Trees are a hoax” – Clive to Launch HC Challenge to Force WA to Continue Logging Native Forests
BREAKING NEWS Featured

AFL Backtrack on Cancelling Grand Final Parade After Seeing NORTHBRIDGE Sign

Belle September 7, 2021

Perth was shocked to hear that the AFL had ruled against staging a Grand Final parade in Perth due to terminal butthurt-itis, “terrorism” concerns, and…

View More AFL Backtrack on Cancelling Grand Final Parade After Seeing NORTHBRIDGE Sign
scarborough beach perth
BREAKING NEWS Featured

30 y/o Scarborough turbo shocked after realising beach body isn’t quite there yet

Belle September 7, 2021

Despite 6 months of neglect, local man Kyle inexplicably reckoned his rig was ready for the big stage at Scarborough today. How wrong he was. …

View More 30 y/o Scarborough turbo shocked after realising beach body isn’t quite there yet
From the Zoo Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

IN FOCUS: Cum-trees (aka Ornamental Pears)

Belle September 6, 2021

If you’ve ever been walking down the street and suddenly get hit in the nostrils by a strong stank of baby-batter you could be forgiven…

View More IN FOCUS: Cum-trees (aka Ornamental Pears)

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Fremantle responds to bridge closures by installing a slackline across the river
  • WA Government to offer a buyback amnesty for all cars with insufferable burble tunes 
  • Homelander has a most elegant solution to the LandCruiser clogging up his scenic Caves Road drive
  • Bunnings customer brings own trailer and actually knows how to reverse it
  • A day in the life of an electrician 
  • New Netflix series to be set in the South West in jeopardy after crew fail to bypass Bunbury 

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