One Nation leader Pauline Hanson has used her press club address today to go full Trump and call for a UFC fight night on the lawn of Parliament House.
Taking inspiration from the Tangerine Tyrant, Pauline wanted the spectacle to truly commemorate the dumbing down of society. With an insider telling The Times,
“Australians don’t want a chance to enter the housing market they want bloodsport, FUCKYEAH!!! FIGHT NIGHT BOIIII GET YA HEAD SMASHED OSS OSS”
It’s a compelling argument with many on both sides of politics agreeing that in a world already making Idiocracy a documentary, they may as well.
We can also report that One Nation deflector Barnabus is keen to enter as a wildcard after several bottles of Grange, where an insider told The Times he’s “a real red rocket”, adding,
“The doctor will probably try to cancel the fight immediately after mistaking his red face for injury and that will give him the psychological advantage, I’d be putting all my money on Barnabus”
Sadly, we don’t have many jets to fly over so those duties will have to be performed by Pauline herself in her little prop plane. Maybe a couple of Virginia Class Subs can cruise along the coast too.
A spokesperson for ALP has confirmed they received the request and will make a decision in the upcoming days.
One can only hope!
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?