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The Bell Tower Times

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Sunday, November 02, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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Sports, Auto & Hobbies

Mr Cyclist

Belle March 16, 2021 Hobbywanker

Move over incels, there is a new oppressed minority in town: the road cyclist. By day, Terry is a mild-mannered physiotherapist that lives on a…

View More Mr Cyclist
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Mi Goreng

Belle March 16, 2021

In 1983, Indomie set out to release a range of instant noodles that could bring the exotic flavours of traditional mie goreng to seedy sharehouses…

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WA Culture & Notable Events

Mrs “Not in My Backyard!”

Belle March 13, 2021

1980 was a good year for Cynthia & Alan. They purchased a property in Cottesloe with the help of a generous inheritance. Now, some say…

View More Mrs “Not in My Backyard!”
Work & Study

Mr Personal Trainer

Belle March 12, 2021

Mike splits his clientele into two mains groups: hot chicks and the rest. If you happen to fall into the latter category expect to have…

View More Mr Personal Trainer
Work & Study

Mr After Work Drinks

Belle March 11, 2021

After suckling upon the teat of mild intoxication at lunch, Dan is feeling bluer than the Cookie Monster’s balls at an Arnott’s strip show. He…

View More Mr After Work Drinks
Lifestyle, Love & Parenting

The IKEA Couple

Belle March 9, 2021

To some, the weekend is a beautiful oasis in the desert of life obligation. Some relax, some party and others risk divorce by diving into…

View More The IKEA Couple

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

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