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Thursday, March 19, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    Trump denies desperation after begging Perth to send floating party cube to Strait of Hormuz

    The Trumpinator 2000 is on a mission to sow chaos across the globe and is demanding his allies help chip in to a war they…

    Belle March 19, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Coles and Woolworths thank petrol companies for taking the heat off them

    Coles and Woolworths have each sent a thankyou hamper of marked down treats to the major petrol companies for managing to keep their own despicable…

    Belle March 18, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

    Government permits Woodside to pump crude oil directly into motorists’ tanks to alleviate cost pressure

    Forget high sulphur fuel, the salvation Aussie motorists need from the fuel crisis is coming from WA’s own Woodside who have long sought to cut…

    Belle March 17, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    St Paddy’s Day sees statewide shortage of traffic controllers in WA

    The WA construction industry has ground to a halt today after thousands of traffic controllers mysteriously called in sick on St Paddy’s Day. It is…

    Belle March 17, 2026
    View More
  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    Australians allowed early access to super to afford Easter

    The Albanese Government has rolled out a range of measures to combat the ever-burgeoning cost of living allegedly caused by the Iran war. Punters will…

    Belle March 17, 2026
    View More

scarborough beach perth
BREAKING NEWS Featured

30 y/o Scarborough turbo shocked after realising beach body isn’t quite there yet

Belle September 7, 2021

Despite 6 months of neglect, local man Kyle inexplicably reckoned his rig was ready for the big stage at Scarborough today. How wrong he was. …

View More 30 y/o Scarborough turbo shocked after realising beach body isn’t quite there yet
From the Zoo Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

IN FOCUS: Cum-trees (aka Ornamental Pears)

Belle September 6, 2021

If you’ve ever been walking down the street and suddenly get hit in the nostrils by a strong stank of baby-batter you could be forgiven…

View More IN FOCUS: Cum-trees (aka Ornamental Pears)
BREAKING NEWS Featured

REPORT: Dôme Café Really Likes the Look of that Waterside Location in Your Suburb

Belle September 4, 2021

Yesterday, we received a report that a Dôme Café location scout was seen licking his lips, rubbing his hands together, and announcing that he wanted…

View More REPORT: Dôme Café Really Likes the Look of that Waterside Location in Your Suburb
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Beer Taps to be Attached to Urinals to Honour CUB Contract at Perth Grand Final

Belle September 2, 2021

Gage Roads won’t be supplying the 2021 Grand Final with beer after being shafted by the cruel strap-on of competing contractual relationships.  Although it’s arguable…

View More Beer Taps to be Attached to Urinals to Honour CUB Contract at Perth Grand Final
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Eddie to Miss 3 Weeks with Debilitating Bruised Ego After Being Denied Entry to WA

Belle September 1, 2021

Eddie McGuire is in intensive care following a brutal dose of reality that he wasn’t above the rest of the population when it came to…

View More Eddie to Miss 3 Weeks with Debilitating Bruised Ego After Being Denied Entry to WA
BREAKING NEWS Featured

WA Requires Sacrifice to Appease Primitive God to Ensure Bountiful Grand Final

Belle August 31, 2021

Western Australia has been sent scrambling to adequately prepare for the Grand Final after it was announced today the MCG couldn’t host the big event.…

View More WA Requires Sacrifice to Appease Primitive God to Ensure Bountiful Grand Final

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Trump denies desperation after begging Perth to send floating party cube to Strait of Hormuz
  • Coles and Woolworths thank petrol companies for taking the heat off them
  • Government permits Woodside to pump crude oil directly into motorists’ tanks to alleviate cost pressure
  • St Paddy’s Day sees statewide shortage of traffic controllers in WA
  • Australians allowed early access to super to afford Easter
  • BREAKING: Perth man nails beach conditions after demonstrating basic ability to read wind forecast

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