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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Tuesday, March 10, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    Mandurah develops space program after just 2 days without “certain websites”

    A mere 48 hours after big Wank decided to clamp down on Australia, Mandurah has announced it will be launching its first manned spaceship to…

    Belle March 10, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    New Freo Traffic Bridge fully completed after just 48 hours without “certain websites”

    A likely consequence of the Pornocalypse has been a major boost in the productivity of tradesman who are though to spend over half their day…

    Belle March 10, 2026
    View More
  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Little shops selling cheap dodgy fuel & expensive American snacks pop up over night

    Little shops that seemingly only sell outrageously priced American snacks have pivoted into a new hustle after reading the room on the public’s fears over…

    Belle March 10, 2026
    View More
  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    Roger Cook’s removalist truck expected in West Perth by 2030 after hitting Kwinana Freeway traffic

    Western Australian Premier Roger Cook has done what many SOR have dreamt of doing for years – escaping Kwinana. Citing the need to be closer…

    Belle March 9, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Tom Hanks chose GWS match as he was searching for a deserted location for Cast Away 2

    Tom Hanks was spotted at the GWS v Hawthorn match yesterday much to the surprise of the handful of punters in attendance. However, it wasn’t…

    Belle March 8, 2026
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From the Zoo BREAKING NEWS

IN FOCUS: Backyard Camping during COVID lockdown

Belle April 24, 2021

There’s nothing quite like pitching a tent in your backyard to keep the crotch goblins off your god damn back because the camping trip to…

View More IN FOCUS: Backyard Camping during COVID lockdown
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: People to Avoid at the Supermarket

Belle April 24, 2021

On a wrong day, going to your local supermarket can make storming the shores of Normandy with a seasick squadron seem like a picnic at…

View More IN FOCUS: People to Avoid at the Supermarket
From the Zoo

So, you want to be a Sovereign Citizen, ay?

Belle April 22, 2021

Defence lawyers hate them! Because sovereign citizen’s reckon they’ve found a way to avoid criminal prosecution without the need for expensive legal fees! Just tell…

View More So, you want to be a Sovereign Citizen, ay?
Perth & WA Locations

Mrs Garden City

Belle April 22, 2021 MummyShopping

After dropping off her silver spoonlings to her mother’s for the day, Amanda heads towards the Claremont Quarter of the South: Garden City. She finds…

View More Mrs Garden City
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Yumbo Fever

Belle April 21, 2021

The only thing that has got boomers friskier than the rent moratoriums lifting is the reintroduction of the Hungry Jack’s Yumbo. Nothing satisfies a hard-earned…

View More IN FOCUS: Yumbo Fever
Reckons

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? Bonds Baby Search Mummas

Belle April 20, 2021

In 2019, Bonds drove a dagger through its own abomination by declaring the Bonds Baby Search would no longer involve a “voting element”. By taking…

View More WHERE ARE THEY NOW? Bonds Baby Search Mummas

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Mandurah develops space program after just 2 days without “certain websites”
  • New Freo Traffic Bridge fully completed after just 48 hours without “certain websites”
  • Little shops selling cheap dodgy fuel & expensive American snacks pop up over night
  • Roger Cook’s removalist truck expected in West Perth by 2030 after hitting Kwinana Freeway traffic
  • Tom Hanks chose GWS match as he was searching for a deserted location for Cast Away 2
  • Cott residents demand “Eco-Barrier” be moved to Stirling Highway to stop creatures reaching Sculptures by the Sea

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