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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Monday, November 03, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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WA Culture & Notable Events

The Perth Boomer

Belle May 19, 2020 MillennialMoney

After 35 years in the same job, Frank has finally climbed to the staggering heights of middle management. His dinosaur-ic approach to work is only…

View More The Perth Boomer
Sports, Auto & Hobbies

The Perth Yoga Enthusiast

Belle May 13, 2020 New AgeYoga

Kristy takes 15 centuries of ancient Indian philosophy, crushes it into hashtag shaped lines and takes a big snort off the toilet seat of social…

View More The Perth Yoga Enthusiast
Sports, Auto & Hobbies

The Perth Boat Owner

Belle May 1, 2020

John had ground down his will to live on the corporate coalface for 20 years and was now in a position to treat himself. He…

View More The Perth Boat Owner
Health & Medicine

Mr Coronavirus Conspiracy Theory

Belle April 30, 2020

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and Todd thinking every significant world event is linked to a new world order. He hasn’t just…

View More Mr Coronavirus Conspiracy Theory
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: The Great PERTH Sign

Belle April 29, 2020

Just as your grandparents whipped out the expensive dining set at Christmas, Perth also has a little razzle-dazzle they like to use when it’s time…

View More IN FOCUS: The Great PERTH Sign
Work & Study

Ms FIFO

Belle April 27, 2020 BoganFIFOtradie

Sez stands as a shining oasis in the harsh Pilbara grind. A truly alluring sight for miners who haven’t used their power tools in a…

View More Ms FIFO

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
  • Leering Tradie Alleges He Was Catfished After Driver Of P-Plated Suzuki Swift Turned Out To Be Middle Aged Man
  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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