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Thursday, August 13, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Technology & Finance

    Trevor named primary suspect in subsea cable damage off Perth coast

    In a shocking development, beloved tiger shark Trevor from Mullaloo has been hauled in for questioning over damage down to two subsea data cables off…

    Belle August 12, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Regional

    New WA Police jet capable of reaching Two Rocks in just four hours

    WA Police’s brand spankin’ Pilatus PC-24 will allow up to 8 highly trained sprawl officers to get to exotic locations like Two Rocks in just…

    Belle August 11, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Perth rejoices that there’s more ice on our windscreens than our wastewater this morning

    Perth has awoken to the glorious news that for once, our wastewater doesn’t have the highest concentration of ice in our city, our windscreens do.…

    Belle August 11, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Perth under pressure to find new excuses to avoid visiting Freo mates as traffic bridge nears early completion

    News broke yesterday that the Freo Traffic Bridge was several months ahead of schedule and is expected before Christmas. While this is fantastic news for…

    Belle August 10, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    Collingwood lost in High Wycombe after boarding wrong train from Perth Airport

    Lack of airport experience is being blamed for a disastrous error from the Collingwood footy club.  When they arrived in Perth ahead of today’s game…

    Belle August 9, 2026
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BREAKING NEWS Featured

Perth’s Urban Sprawl Claims Credit For Lack of COVID Spread

Belle December 28, 2021 WA Culture

In an unprecedented move, Perth’s Urban Sprawl has stepped up to take the lion’s share of credit for WA recording another donut day of ‘Rona…

View More Perth’s Urban Sprawl Claims Credit For Lack of COVID Spread
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Perth Cup Patrons Promise To Practice Social Distancing When Passing On Each Other Covered In Bodily Fluids

Belle December 27, 2021

Perth Cup revellers are taking their COVID safe obligations seriously after finding out their day at the races will go ahead for vaxxed punters despite…

View More Perth Cup Patrons Promise To Practice Social Distancing When Passing On Each Other Covered In Bodily Fluids
Featured WA Culture & Notable Events

Mr ‘Why Haven’t My Bins Been Emptied???’

Belle December 27, 2021

For decades, Ron has maintained relative peace with his Council overlords based on the understanding they pick up his shit on the designated day and…

View More Mr ‘Why Haven’t My Bins Been Emptied???’
WA Culture & Notable Events Featured

Mr Perth Heatwave

Belle December 26, 2021 tradieWeather

Daryl is an unflushed toilet bowl of a man: full of shit and stained with the unpalatable skiddie of one-upmanship. The recent heat has sent…

View More Mr Perth Heatwave
Reckons Featured

So, You’re Becoming a Face Mask Entrepreneur?

Belle December 23, 2021

News of restrictions hit people differently. Some are compelled to descend upon their local shopping centres like itchy-arsed zombies seeking 180 rolls of toilet paper.…

View More So, You’re Becoming a Face Mask Entrepreneur?
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Perth Family’s Pipin’ Hot Roast Lunch Tradition Lives On Despite 42 Degree X-Mas Forecast

Belle December 22, 2021 WA Culture

No changes will be made to the Stirling family’s X-Mas menu despite the spicy temperatures expected on the day. When hell has opened up and…

View More Perth Family’s Pipin’ Hot Roast Lunch Tradition Lives On Despite 42 Degree X-Mas Forecast

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Trevor named primary suspect in subsea cable damage off Perth coast
  • New WA Police jet capable of reaching Two Rocks in just four hours
  • Perth rejoices that there’s more ice on our windscreens than our wastewater this morning
  • Perth under pressure to find new excuses to avoid visiting Freo mates as traffic bridge nears early completion
  • Collingwood lost in High Wycombe after boarding wrong train from Perth Airport
  • Perth Records Coldest Day Ever Observed on Earth

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