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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Sunday, November 02, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: TikTok

Belle April 25, 2020

Some say TikTok is a little bit of fun. Some say it’s a Chinese espionage app. Others see it as a nightmarish glimpse in the…

View More IN FOCUS: TikTok
Health & Medicine

Ms Wellness Blogger

Belle April 22, 2020

Just as Isaac Newton got sconed by an apple, Nelle had her “aha!’ moment when she realised vegetables had vitamins in them. It didn’t take…

View More Ms Wellness Blogger
Reckons

So, you’re preparing to re-enter society after the COVID-19 lockdown?

Belle April 22, 2020

Clean yourself up  It’s time to pull the trigger on that iso-haircut. If you’re being honest with yourself you look like a stray dog that…

View More So, you’re preparing to re-enter society after the COVID-19 lockdown?
Unique & Other

Mr Tribal Tatts

Belle April 21, 2020

As a middle-class Aussie, Dane is as confused as Bert & Ernie’s living arrangement. He looks like the result of an unholy union between Casper…

View More Mr Tribal Tatts
Perth & WA Locations

Mr Belmont

Belle April 21, 2020

When Clive isn’t peacocking around a wet mess telling everyone about his latest fiscally irresponsible expenditure he’s back home and living it up in the…

View More Mr Belmont
Work & Study Bell Tower Times

Mr UWA Social Club

Belle April 20, 2020 uni

Enrolling at UWA enabled Benjamin to break the shackles of pencil-dickery and forge a new identity as a beer o’clock crusader Luckily for Benny boy,…

View More Mr UWA Social Club

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

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