Perth bloke who lived in Melbourne for 3 months can’t stop defending their heatwave

A Perth man who spent 3 months living in a filthy sharehouse in Brunswick is on high alert today to ensure everyone knows that he understands the current plight of the Melburnian.

We spoke to Ben’s work colleague who said Ben had already bailed him up in the kitchenette while he was making a Nespresso pod coffee. He told The Times,

“He walked in and instantly baited me. He asked me if I heard about the heatwave in Melbourne and how they are on their 3rd consecutive day of high 30s. He then locked onto my face waiting for the smirk that inevitably came”

Smirk he did and that’s when Ben went nuclear. His colleague continued,

“He said I didn’t understand the heat in Melbourne and that he’d take 44 in Perth over 39 in Melbourne any day of the week. He then told me he lived there so he would know. You know what I know? He lived there for like 3 months before going broke and having to drag his sorry arse home, STFU ben”

After believing he had proved his point, Ben turned his focus to news articles to be the ally Melbourne never asked him to be.

Instead of working, he spent the majority of his morning combating Western Australians who popped up to ridicule Smellburn on their pathetic whinging.

We caught up with Ben to ask him why defending the Melbourne heatwave was so important to him. He told The Times,

“I think about all the people who don’t know I lived in Melbs and it makes me sad. So I drop some city-based knowledge that you could only garner from living there. It’s a concrete jungle with fark all sea breeze so the heat feels a lot hotter”

By all reports, Ben will continue baiting Westralians until everyone in this city knows.

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