Avid Insurance Fraudster Has A Raging Stiffy From Looking At Footage Of Flooded Roads Before Knocking Off

Tony* who didn’t want to give his real name is literally licking his lips as he looks at footage on social media of Perth’s flooded roads. He’s had an absolute gutful of his Hyundai hatchback and smells opportunity. 

Clearly trying to hide a lump in his pants, Tony went on to say he hasn’t looked forward to driving home this year as much as he does now. Adding,

“Theoretically, if I took a little detour through this flooded section of road in Kingsley. Now, who are you or any insurance assessor to tell me that I was able to ascertain the depth of that pooling? There could be no way, just a naive driver *winks grease-ishly*”

At this point, Tony began to drift off into a sort of insurance-claim-trance. Just thinking about his new for old replacement policy and getting his new vehicle. He briefly pulled himself out of it to continue, 

“Now who is also to say that water didn’t get into my car because I had the window down accidentally? Who is to say that this laptop and iPhone also didn’t get wet to the point of a write off *an elated yet slightly uncomfortable look forms over his face*” 

“Ummmmffgghhhh”, he declared before looking down at his pants and continuing, 

“Actually, wanna go and grab the Hyundai now? Think I just spotted some rather intense flooding right here ha ha. Ahhh, shit, seriously though could you pass a tissue or seven. This is a big job”

Go get ‘em tiger.

RELATED: Bloke who had a solid year to sort out his gutters looking forward to some “unforeseeable” water damage

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