Robbie Williams moves today’s show to the Great Northern Highway traffic jam

Thousands of punters spent the majority of yesterday’s concert stuck in Great Northern Highway traffic. So Robbie Williams has decided to cut out the middleman and rock the hell out of that gridlock for today’s show.

Some lucky punters will even get to see the man twice. Given they are no closer to home almost 12 hours after the last show finished.

We spoke to a Robbie Williams fan who said she was pleased the concert was being realistic,

“By 4 pm this afternoon, the Swan Valley will be in the grips of another spectacular clusterfuck. So instead of waiting for the concertgoers to make it to Nikola Estate, Robbie is doing the right thing by taking the concert to them. Maybe he’ll hover overhead in a helicopter? How cool”

We spoke to a fan last night who ended up conceding defeat and pitching a tent in the traffic jam at about 3 am this morning. She told The Times,

“It was absolutely a textbook Swan Valley congestion nightmare. The roads really aren’t built for so many people rolling in at once. Still, completely unforeseeable isn’t it?”

Fans are being urged to leave for the traffic jam as early as possible. With some fans starting their slow journey as early as 7 am this morning. Alas, there are new fears of a “Down South syndrome”. A congestion expert told The Times,

“You’ll have a lot of people thinking they know the best time to go. Little do they know, they all have the same idea. So basically we are expecting the traffic jam to just build a lot earlier with no reasonable prospect of clearing due to fundamental Perth driving. It could be a lot worse”

Accordingly, fans are being urged to bring enough supplies to last their stay in the Swan Valley. Which may be anywhere between 24 and 96 hours.

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