ScoMo Hoping For Spot In Eagles Defence Should He Be Out Of A Job On Saturday

ScoMo or “Bulldozer” as he’s known around the local footy circuit is hedging his bets with a potential career in the undermanned West Coast Eagles squad should he lose Saturday’s election in spectacular fashion. 

To aid in the potential career switch, ScoMo’s minders have sent West Coast a copy of his hard hit on a young kid in Hobart today saying he “should be available” for next Sunday’s clash against the Giants. 

A spokesperson for ScoMo told The Times,

“As you know, the Eagles are sitting at the bottom of the ladder and judging by some polls coming out ScoMo knows exactly what that’s like. It’s matching energy and ScoMo is probably going to need a job”

A spokesperson for West Coast were impressed the PM managed to attend a football game without leaving his jocks looking like a Yogo Dirt Dessert went off in them however had reservations,

“We looked at the footage and that little red headed child could easily have been Jack Bowey or Clayton Oliver and some big tackles on possession hounds like that would be great but we ain’t that desperate yet”

ScoMo claims to still be upbeat about his chances on Saturday but feels it’s never too soon to market himself for a different, half back flank kinda role. 

To show his dedication, ScoMo has made a trip over to Perth this afternoon to smash some Jagerbombs later this evening at Leederville. He told The Times,

“Yew, as ah, many young Western Aussies would say. Watching Danny Cousins and Christopher Jedd win the 2016 playoffs to take home the Bledisloe. Up the mighty Coasteroos and pints on me at the Hippo Club”

Should West Coast turn down ScoMo for the position of Centre Half Back, there’s always a chance he could get a job on the door in Northbridge with his knack for pummelling youngsters to feel like a big man. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?