10/10 of reptile experts agree that posting a photo of a snake in your backyard and asking the brains trust in your local FB group on how to proceed is a surefire way to get a hot dose of venom right in your face.
As the weather warms up, long bois feel like getting active and as a result, we are more likely to encounter them in our daily lives. A fact that Sue discovered when she went out to hang some washing on the line this morning. What she saw shocked her to the core.
A dugite had made the area under the washing line its temporary home while enjoying some sun. She snapped a photo of the slithering beast and did what so many do and inexplicably asked a bunch of bozos who don’t know shit how she should proceed.
Without hesitation, a regular Russel Coight with an 80 series LandCruiser as his profile pic and the Aussie flag as his cover photo leaped to the rescue. He told Sue, “prolly a westin brown… get a shovel and cut its hed off….”
Another commenter took a somewhat contrary position to ol Russ. Telling Sue to not listen to him because he knew everything there is to know about snake wrangling. He told Sue,
“Ha ha wat a muppet nah not a westun brown ..! is a tiger snake obvsly look at markingss get] a buket n try to corner it against ya wall scoo p up and releas… easy as”
A voice of reason emerged from the depths of the social media comment section sewer and told Sue to get the hell away from it and call a reptile removal expert immediately. Adding,
“Sue, please for the love of God don’t listen to either of these clowns. Looks like a dugite and they have a nasty bite. Keep well away and call Wildcare or someone similar”
Predictably, the sober advice was met with the howling imbecility of the Facebook blowhard. With the person being accused of being everything that is wrong with the snowflake generation.
Clearly, Sue should do what they used to do back in the day and spend the rest of the day in the hospital after being outmatched by the soon-to-be agitated snake in her backyard.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?