It started as an innocent question on Twitter. One Italian user hailing from Rome asked her followers how often the men in their life thought about the Westralian mining empire and all things boom town. If only she knew what she was unravelling by asking such an innocent question.
At first, a few replies started filtering in with users shocked at how much they could relate to the tweet. User Romanbella8789737 replied,
“Oh my god! My Roberto has brought up the mining boom 3 times today before breakfast. He says he wonders if we’ll ever see a demand for iron ore like that again. He says he’d give anything to have been a part of all the empire”
Then, thousands of replies came flooding in. It was unanimous, the men of Rome spent a LOT of their day thinking about the glory of the Westralian mining empire. We spoke to a man called Marco who has been lobbying his university to offer a course on it. He told The Times,
“It’s so fascinating! You have this superpower China wanting to build a bunch of ghost cities and because of that everyone had to pay $15 for a pint of Asahi in Hillarys. Beasts of men roamed the finest eateries and holding a sign up on the ‘moines’, as they say, could make you more money than being a lawyer. Bellissimo!”
We spoke to a Westralian historian who said he wasn’t surprised that Roman men were so preoccupied with Westralia. He added,
“They had something of an empire themselves. So I think they looked at what happened in Westralia in the 2000s and saw parallels to their own golden years. They built sewers, we filled ours with wastewater that could get you a decent buzz. That was all mining money”
Of particular interest to the Romans is how the modern-day Caesar – Colin Barnett managed to squander the windfall of the mining boom. Lorenzo told The Times,
“You had billions flowing in and all you have to show for it is Elizabeth Quay? That’s wild. I think the Westralian mining boom is a cautionary tale as much as historical interest. We all like to wonder how our nation would handle such riches”
It’s estimated that over ⅔ of Roman men have thought about Westralia in the past 24 hours. Understandable but also incredible. As a final thought, we spoke to Isabella who told The Times,
“It’s my husband’s birthday so I am going to dress up as a mining site cleaner and roleplay the classic WA mining boom love story. He’ll leave his wife for a sordid affair with me and leave 4 crisp pineapples on the donga’s bed side table he he”
Westralia is truly alive in the hearts and minds of the Romans!
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
