Taylor Swift Fan Misses Out On Tickets But Still Makes Excellent Use Of Those Adult Nappies e-Queuing For Tickets Today

Kayla, a desperate Swiftie, refused to leave her “fortress of dreams” today. A term she used for the 10 tablet and laptop devices she had set up on a table to ensure she’d get a ticket to Taylor Swift’s concert. 

While she missed out on getting the tickets, she certainly managed to get good use of the adult nappies that she had bought in anticipation of going to the concert. Soiling herself more times than a Footy team on a Bali end-of-season trip. She told The Times,

“You don’t understand. I cleared my entire day and I wasn’t going to let a toilet break get in the way of getting tickets to Tay Tay *bursts out scream-crying in a nappy smelling strongly of piss*”

Her partner helped her out this morning but had to go to work. On his arrival home, he said he was shocked at the state of her. Adding,

“She had truly become a giant baby. Inconsolable on the floor with a heavily soiled nappy. I won’t lie it was a bit of a turn-off but that’s what you get when you date a Swiftie I suppose”

Kayla told The Times that while she’ll never get over missing out on the first round of tickets she was happy that her nappy purchase wasn’t a total waste. Adding,

“I don’t think any normal fan, or normal human being for that matter, could ever understand our feverish dedication to Taylor Swift. If wearing a nappy to avoid going to the toilet and missing a single minute of her concert is weird to you then just don’t understand how big of a pack of freaks we are”

After showering and sorting herself out, Kayla apologised to her partner for him having to see that. Adding, that if there is another drop of tickets she’ll just drag a bucket out and use that. 

Doing your business in a bucket in the middle of your lounge room may not sound normal but high on Tay Tay it is. 

RELATED: Taylor Swift Adds WA To Her Tour After Being Assured Of Inspiration From Perth’s Horrific Dating Pool

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