Tennis player unable to perform with Bumble hookup after her housemate coughs in the next room

“SILENCE, PLEASE, I NEED SILENCE!”, the young man roared after his Bumble date’s housemate dared make a small amount of noise from 5m away.

It was an unfortunate interruption, with the young tennis stud unable to get a grip on his rhythm and went out in straight, floppy sets soon after.

We spoke to the Bumble date who said she took every precaution to ensure her date could perform. Adding,

“We were hooking up on the couch and my phone vibrated. He got up and asked me if I was serious before sitting down on a nearby chair to angrily wipe sweat from his brow. He then asked to move into my bedroom because the low humming from the fridge was putting him off his stroke”

He then spent several minutes ensuring the bed didn’t make a single noise during his pumping. Using every tool available to him to ensure he had complete silence.

That’s when things started to go well. He was returning serve and acing his date. That’s when disaster struck, and her house mate let out a basic bodily function. Just loud enough to hear.

We spoke to the tennis player who admitted he was forced to retire soft. Adding,

“Look every other athlete in the world can perform with some noise in the crowd but we are different. We are special and it’s driven into us from an early age. That’s why we don’t play team sports. Could you imagine a lover daring to even breathe while Novak was lobbing volleys into her?”

To deal with the situation, the tennis player asked his date if she would go and tell her housemate to leave.

Classic tennis player behaviour!

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