The Bell Tower Times Year in Review 2020 (PART 2)

Clive becomes public enemy no.1 – between June and November, WA was united by its burning hatred of Clive the Hutt. Unable to accept he wasn’t special, Palmer launched a High Court challenge to force WA to open its borders. Then he launched an action for $30B from a historical mining deal. Then he launched an action for hurt feelings. Thankfully, in early November, the High Court shut him down.

Smart Freeways – initially, people were praising the smart freeway for shaving 15 minutes off their commute time in peak hour. Naturally, the classic attitude of Western Australian drivers refusing to be told what to do prevailed. It was a bold plan but it’ll take more than a flashing sign to get the city into a state of merging literacy.

The Baysie trestle table – for a population that would push their own mother down the stairs to get at a Bunnings’ snag, this design was like a dream come true. For a brief moment, the Baysie traino was going to transform into a Bunnings trestle table but was scrapped after online ridicule. We could’ve had it all.

A Perf Grand Final – it is unlikely anyone actually expected the Grand Final to come to Perf but for a brief moment in time it was a distinct possibility. Perhaps it was because the West Coast Eagle was in the finals or perhaps it would’ve just been fun to see Eddie blow a head gasket over the decision but some dared to dream. Ultimately, the AFL made a good call and held the GF in a state where COVID wouldn’t have impacted the total attendance anyway – QLD. For more on WA footy – The West Coast Fan 2020.

Sizzler – despite no one ever going to a Sizzler restaurant for a decade, our collective minds were blown when Sizzler announced it would be winding up and closing its remaining 9 stores this year. Of which Perth had 3 (Innaloo, Kelmscott & Morley). In true Perth fashion, the punters turned up in their droves to get a final taste of that sweet, sweet cheese toast. Thus proving, things are only popular in Perth if they are opening or closing.

Lord Mayor – 2020 marked a milestone event – a Perth mayoral election that got more coverage than a state election. You could barely tell 7 West had a horse in the race. Nevertheless, for well over a month Perth struggled to care about the election before Bas was awarded the crown. He wore the crown for a bout a week before his first protest against him. That has got to be another kind of record.

An unlikely truce – since the beginning of off-ramps, windscreen washers and police have shared a turbulent relationship. It’s an iconic photo but from all reports the police didn’t honour the truce for very long. All’s not fair in love and squeegees.

ihavethisthingwithwitcheshats / insta

A big load of WA in Katanning – its hard to think of anything more Western Australian than driving into the front of a property and leaving a bush chook on your roof. This is especially good because this property happened to be the local cop shop. We have a long way to go as a people.

WTF at Elizabeth Quay – just look at this mess. No one really knew what they were protesting and most likely, neither did they. It was sort of like comic con for conspiracy theorists and for some reason pro Trumpers. Grim Reaper was a nice touch given their anti-vax views. More on tin foilers: Top Signs You May be a Conspiracy Theorist.

Faith in humanity restored – what more can be said. Cheers big ‘orse.

Sons of Anarchy fans have their day – after the shooting of ex Rebel’s president Nick Martin, anyone who had seen Sons of Anarchy and Underbelly were out in force telling anyone who would listen how this is going to play out. Perhaps the 30 articles a day on the topic didn’t help. Only a jockey on ice could flog a horse harder.


A very Perf finale – there was never any doubt that Perth was going to end the year with a bang. On X-Mas day a punter drove his Holden Ute through the doors at Westpac on St Georges Terrace. All because they apparently ruined his credit. Not sure this stunt is going to help.

Cheers WA and for anyone tuning in from elsewhere: how to not offend Western Australians