Useless Angler Doing A Good Job Of Pretending He’ll Be Affected By Dhuey Ban

Atrocious Perth fisho, Timbo, who has never caught a Dhuey in his life is putting on a convincing act while joining in on his fellow fisho’s complaints about the new demersal fish catching restrictions to come into play next February. 

Under the new legislation, fishing for snapper & dhueys will be restricted to only 6 months of the year. A measure that will see Timbo’s dhuey count slashed from 0 in 2022 to 0 in 2023. Getting worked up over the thought he told The Times,

“All the boys are raging about the new laws. Catching a big dhufish is like crack to them. They are saying they don’t care about the new laws and are going to release small dhueys back into the ocean anyway. I told em, me too! I was with em all the way”

A mate who has the displeasure of fishing with Timbo on several occasions said that nothing was going to change for his mate. Adding,

“He keeps acting like he’s going to be missing out on catching dhueys. He’s already missing out because his gear is shit, he has no patience and can’t use a fish finder to save himself. I think he just wants to be included in the furore”

We asked Timbo how he was preparing to deal with the radical 0% change of dhueys in his life. He told The Times,

“I’ll just have to take it one fish I don’t catch at a time. I’ve already written a letter to Fisheries telling them they are taking food off my family’s table! And as you can imagine that table has been bare for a while. How do you actually land one of those big sonovabitches?”

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He maintains that he’s absolutely cut from the right cloth to catch Dhufish but those men in grey suits keep nabbing them when he’s reeling ’em up. Which he claims is to prevent barotrauma. Some suspect none of it is true.

It seems Timbo will have to turn his efforts to catching snapper, which he also doesn’t have much luck doing.

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