BCF shirts are more than just garments; they are distress beacons for a fark-up that hasn’t quite happened yet – but it most certainly will. 

See, BCF has long been a destination for weekend warriors. A kind of Bunnings for inexperienced blokes working on their own DIY outdoor disasterpiece. 

Perhaps the most iconic variety of BCF’ing idiot is the middle aged man with more disposable income than outdoors ability. 

Seeing his Land Cruiser roll in gives more experienced outdoorsy types a strong feeling that their winch might be getting a workout pretty soon. 

Similarly, he’s almost certainly the type to aggressively refuse any help launching his boat and then butcher it to the point of needing to make an insurance claim. That’s if his boat even makes it to the water. 

If you’re luckily enough to be camping next to one of these specimens you’ll be treated to hours of entertainment as you wait for the impending middle-aged meltdown.

Watch them thrash around in a half collapsed tent like a red-faced baby elephant trying to free itself from a birthing sac.

On the other end of the spectrum are the younger blokes who pretend they know how to use their fish sounder and have really just nick spots from people kind enough to take them fishing. 

In reality, his love for angling only really extends to landing a big enough fish to use as his new online dating profile pics. 

He doesn’t know much in life but he does reckon girls can’t resist a BCF ambassador. After all, he’s not afraid to get up and close with something fishy. Form an orderly queue, ladies. 

It’s rare for a single garment to strike disgust into both the hearts of emergency services and the general dating pool but there you go. A truly versatile garb.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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