The WACA has responded to the hysterical shrieking about its decision to move away from urinals in the northern end stand for the general public by promising to plant some “juicy” lemon trees out the back that men can have a go on.
A spokesperson for the WACA said it would combine the best of both worlds. With the men’s toilet not looking like a scene from Waterworld after the effects of 25 mid-strength beers per head flow out; and those who really love to flop it out would get a chance to do so. Adding,
“We consulted a wide range of urinators, including the pindick community, stage frighters, and the society of weird kents who like to sneak a peak at another bloke’s member while chucking a slash. We found that a compromise had to be struck here and who doesn’t love pissing on a lemon tree?”
We took the decision to members of the public to gauge their reaction. Ron is a 3rd generation urinalman and claims the soothing spray of another bloke’s sprayback helps him open his own gate. Adding,
“It’s bloody woke nonsense, isn’t it! Lefty snowflakes taking away my right to get my thonged feet covered in another man’s piss. I’ll stand to pee but I won’t stand for this! Bring on the lemon trees”
On the other side of the spectrum, we spoke to Adam who suffered from regular level 5 stage fight if he wasn’t at least 8 beers deep. He told The Times,
“I love urinals. I don’t have a small one if that’s what you’re asking. I just get anxious if there are other blokes next to me. Plus you can’t rack up a little cricket-line on a urinal ledge. Well, you shouldn’t. I suppose you can”
Wayne however took a different approach. Claiming that he “didn’t give a shit” and this was the biggest nonissue he’d ever heard. Adding,
“Mate, it’s 45 degrees in the sun at that stadium just piss in your shorts like I do. It dries in no time. I might use the cubicle, I might use the lemon tree. Why are people going on about this so much?”
That’s a very good question, Wayne. A very good question indeed.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
