REPORT: Luke Combs is the Taylor Swift for people who are banned from every pub along the Armadale Line

Last night, Luke Combs’ fans affectionately known as bootleggers descended upon Perth to join the honkytonk at RAC Arena. Some have described the fanbase as like Swifties but the kind no longer permitted to enter licensed venues along the Armadale Line.

The energy was undeniably South East with strong lashings of Byford. We spoke to one fan who said he’d been on the straight Wild Turkey since breakfast. He told The Times,

“Yeeeehawww bro. He sings about break ups and that and I can really relate. Can you believe every woman that has ever dated me has broken up with me cos I service me dirt bikes in the living room? Bunch of princesses mate. I just feel the big feller, ya know?”

We spoke to another bootlegger who said she’d be wearing her underwear vigorously all day to make sure they had the required density to make the distance to the stage. She told The Times,

“He’s like that sexy older second-Cousin. I’m from Maddo and let me tell you a hunk like Combs wouldn’t last two seconds at the tav. Not that I’m allowed back for 6 months. How was I to know you can’t chuck a glass at the entertainment for being shit?”

Similarly, a Kelmscott lad told The Times that he was a Combs superfan and was planning to invite the country western superstar back to his shed for some pips. Adding,

“Me misso calls me Stan ha ha ha reckons I’d dead set forcibly bundle Combsy into me boot and take him back to the man cave. I WON’T if yous is reading this Luke ha ha. Seriously though, fridge is full of tins mate, please come back”

Another lady called herself the Queen of Gosnells. She said she’d come straight from lockup for a little Friday night biffo at the pub. She told The Times,

“Someone is getting dropped tonight. Isn’t country music magical? I’ve got my extra long heels on to really stiletto the shit out of any girl who Luke looks at”

It can’t be denied that the fanbase is passionate!

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