Record Compliance At WA Prisons After Inmates Were Threatened With Warnie Mini-Series 

WA Corrective Services have recorded a rare “incident-free” weekend after inmates were told that if they acted up they would be subjected to Channel 9’s Warnie mini-series in its entirety. 

The achievement can really not be understated. Not one incident across the entire WA prison network. Home to some of the staunchest WA residents on the planet. We spoke to a guard who told The Times,

“Typically we’ll have to attend some sort of incident. Substance abuse, biffo, spitting, you know it’s a real smorgasbord of shitcunt activity at times. We mention one word now and inmates don’t only behave, they go above & beyond. A seasoned career criminal even did a whip-around for a guard’s birthday. They got him a 2 minute noodle cake”

However many are wondering if the threat is consistent with our obligations to human rights. One inmate told The Times,

“I’ll happily admit I am a menace to society. I was a cold-blooded thug who committed unspeakable acts for financial gain but even I wouldn’t make someone watch that dogshit. Let that sink in for a minute. It’s coming from a guy who drained his own grandma’s bank account to bet on dog fights in the backyard”

Similarly, an expert on prison compliance & policy told The Times that while good behaviour was important we still had to remember these inmates are human beings with hopes & dreams. Adding,

“Ultimately, the more rehabilitation in prison the better. You show them that Channel 9 cynical cash grab and they’ll lose even more faith in the system. Once you’ve seen how low society can sink you start giving up a bit. They had Warnie talking from beyond the grave ffs”

At least for now, the possible human rights implications are being ignored. Especially after several criminals contacted the warden to tell them they have sworn off crime for life. One adding,

“You think they can take everything away from a man but they can always find a worse punishment. This was like when they made us eat apricot chicken for a week”

The power of television. 

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