Prigozhin inspires Perth man to bust into his boss’s office and tell him there are going to be some changes

They say you find inspiration in the craziest of places. Well, Perth man Simon has watched Prigozhin’s march towards Moscow with great delight as he is also a man with some unfinished business with his boss. 

We spoke to Simon who had turned his dining room table into a map of the office and was calling himself the General of Work-life Balance. He told The Times,

“I get where Prigozhin is coming from. He was this maniac’s chef for so many years and had to cop shit sandwich after shit sandwich. Wasn’t he the one supposed to be making the food? That’s how I feel and we march at 8:30 am tomorrow. We will take back sales”

Simon went on to detail how he was previously mentored by his boss before being tossed aside when a young, more attractive female employee started at the business. Adding,

“Yeah, he just wanted to gawk at her so I went back to square one. No more career progression, no pay rises, and no motivation. I’ve plotted on overthrowing this piece of shit so many times. Well Prigozhin has given me that confidence”

In what could be described as the highest stakes boss revenge ever, Prigozhin risks almost certain horrific fates if caught by the Russian leader. Then again, he could also be highly rewarded by whoever is backing him. Simon says he “feels that”, adding,

“I’ve already got Craig and Trish on my side. We can’t trust Todd because he’s a weaselly little suckhole who would sell out his own mother for an invite to the corporate golf day. We just need Carla to assure power”

What is Simon chasing? Nothing major just a complete overhaul of the corporate practices, culture, and policies. Also, he wants to assume his boss’s position and he may or may not want to hang him over St Georges Terrace to show any future challengers that he means business. He added,

“I haven’t run that part of the plan by Carla yet. I think she just wants a new Nespresso pod machine. I will rise. I will rule!”

RELATED: 10 Commandments Of Office Etiquette 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?