Winter returns for the most unwanted comeback tour of 2022

Storming into Perth for an impromptu yet totally unwanted comeback tour, winter has returned for an encore that no one asked for. Stunning audiences with hits like “can’t sit in the beer garden at the pub” to “you’ve gone and cooked the Freeway”, it’s clear that Perth winter is relishing its time in the spotlight. 

Critics of Perth Winter’s earlier work say that the comeback tour was poorly timed and failed to read the room. Seeing as it’s a time when everyone is just about ready to sacrifice their long pants to the weather gods and start embracing the warmth. 

Describing the performance as less like a rockstar and more like that sloppy kent at the end of a house party that you can’t seem to get rid of. We spoke to Perth Winter’s agent who told The Times,

“Perth Winter knows it has a niche fan base but perhaps the full stadium tour wasn’t the right move. Even so, it’s debuting some new material like ‘a chance to use that absurd electric blanket purchase’ and ‘Uggs & Shorts’, no doubt some will be cheering very loudly”

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Dubbed the “good for the farmers” tour, Perth Winter promises to put the cue back in the rack after today. A claim that not everyone in the industry is sure of. We spoke to a leading weather expert who told The Times,

“We’ve heard that before but as history has shown us Perth Winter often tries to book a few more gigs even late into December. Bringing its dogshit brand of mediocre melodies with it. I dare say we haven’t seen the last of it yet”

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Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?