What can be said about the Vic Park Centre car park that hasn’t already been said about the Stargate? It’s big, it’s inviting but once you enter you’ll be transported to a strange world where the basic rules of humanity count for nothing and you may not return in one piece.
You know it’s going to be a low standard of driving ability when you understand a fair chunk of people there are those who are too cowardly or incompetent to nail a parallel park on Albany Highway in front of the peanut gallery.
Then you combine this with Kmart shoppers and the jumps cares from some local residents who must’ve had too many St James espressos.
Why Kmart shoppers you may ask? Well, bad driving isn’t just limited to cars. They recklessly yield a full trolley of Anko landfill while maniacally examining their receipt for opportunities to storm back in and demand 10c or whatever.
Watch out for these scud-trolleys who just love a big taste of your side panel. Also watch out as the natural incline of this car park can send trolleys after you also. It’s like you’re a tanker in the Strait of Hormuz wondering where Trump’s supposed peace deal is.
Also, in this alternate universe there is also a phenomenon of people disregarding the plethora of available parks and choosing to clog up the flow of traffic to wait for a specific one while a dingleberry takes 10 minutes to back his oversized hunk of crud out.
To that end, always give yourself about 30 minutes to get out of this car park. Although, there is a certain rush in pushing the limits of your 3 hour strict time limit as you lose your mind at why the cars in front of you haven’t moved in 5 minutes.
All to find out it’s because someone was locked into a fierce mental battle to decide which direction they wanted to exit today. Then enjoy watching them move forward a few inches before SLAMMING the brakes on because they spotted another car moving 20m away.
And if you really want to try this car park on hard mode – go on a weekend evening when its full of chock full of foodies. Who not only have clogged up the bays but are wandering around like social media zombies checking if their recent TikTok has or hasn’t slayed, or slain, as it were.
You can’t rush these things!
All in all, it’s also a great experience. Fully recommend.
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