In a historical first, Australia will require its younger cousin New Zealand to compel its citizens to complete the 2026 Aussie Census.
According to Australia, everyone on that island is going to make their way to Australia once that job on the moines comes through so there was no point carrying on with the charade.
We spoke to the ABS who said it was just about saving time for the bureau, adding,
“Half the country could move here next week and then boom our census data is just that little bit more inaccurate, why kid ourselves, we all know where they are going to end up”
Census papers will be handed out all over New Zealand combining a pamphlet on life in Baldivis – again – to just save everyone the time.
We spoke to a Kiwi who said these was an outrageous generalisation, adding,
“Not all of us want to live in Australia ay, hold up sorry I’m getting a call *excited Kiwi noises*, 3 on 1 off gonna be earning that mean as coin bro chur, hand me one of those forms cuzzy”
That’s about right.
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