ATO Warns Rio Tinto Not To Try A $1 Billion “Laundry Claim” Next Year After Record Tax Avoidance Settlement

The ATO says it has no time to pat itself on the back after reaching an agreement with mining giant Rio Tinto to pay an additional $1B over its original tax filings. 

A spokesperson for the ATO said they will be on high alert for the mining giant to pull a classic FIFO move and try to recover some of its expenditure via a grotesquely excessive laundry claim. Adding,

“Obviously no one likes to pay tax and you’d bet that Rio is livid about reaching an agreement with us over tax avoidance. We are expecting a very large deduction for laundry next year, something to the tune of $1B”

Obviously, Rio Tinto has assured the ATO has nothing to worry about. Confirming they had consulted with the finest accounting minds in the wet mess and any $1B laundry claim will be totally above board. 

We spoke to Big Mick who famously claimed $2000 in laundry this year despite never being seen on fly-in day in any garb even close to being considered clean. He told The Times,

“I met with the big wigs the other day and told em what’s what. I told em, you’re Rio Tinto you could claim $5 billion on laundry, what would those flogs know?”

Insiders say it’s absolutely appalling that the big guys are being targeted. With a mining industry expert telling The Times,

“If someone throws a steaming turd at you, will you take steps to avoid it? Yes, yes you will. Tax is that turd and Rio simply did what any battler would’ve done. Maybe go and pick on the little guy like you’re good at ATO”

Meanwhile, Rio Tinto hopes the scandal will finally take the attention off that “cave business” forever. 

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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