ATO Bravely Targets “Serious Crime” In Scare Campaign Against Laundry Deductions etc

The ATO is sending a powerful message to the nation’s scummiest citizens – get a little cheeky with your plebby claims and we will hunt you to the ends of the Earth and ruin your life. 

A spokesperson for the ATO said their yearly claim facilitated by clickbait journalists was essential for keeping order. Adding,

“Look, it’s not like these low-mid income earners have done something minor like claim millions in Jobkeeper erroneously. They are telling fibs about laundry & travel to the tune of 100s of dollars. Well, not on our watch”

A CEO of one such company who claimed millions in Jobkeeper they weren’t entitled to said that exaggerated laundry deductions from some struggling dad made him want to flip a table. Adding,

“Yeah, after an audit it turned out we weren’t entitled to any of the Jobkeeper and I told the ATO ‘my bad’ and they accepted that with no obligation to pay it back. It’s called honesty maybe some of these FIFO scum bags could learn a thing or two about it”

Tony for Malaga found himself on the wrong end of the audit stick 2 years ago after getting a little cheeky on his travel claims. He told The Times,

“I’m glad they came down on me hard. Ultimately, it’s people like me that are responsible for the economy collapsing and I now understand that if I want to avoid paying my fair share I should just operate under an ACN with a multi-million dollar turnover”

Critics of the ATO’s scare campaign allege that if they were serious about clawing back what’s owed they should get serious about the big boys. 

Naturally, the ATO refute this is even an option telling The Times,

“Do you know how hard and expensive it would be to target people who actually skip out on gazillions of tax dollars? They have really good accountants and even better lawyers. Old Kev from Rivervale doesn’t have any of that”

The Government echoed the sentiment telling The Times,

“If we invested in corporate crime then we’d have taxpayers whinging that their dollars are being spent on lengthy court battles that ultimately end up in some pissy little settlement. We can’t win”

Thank you for keeping us all safe from scum, ATO.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?