Authorities monitoring concerning outbreak of belief among Dockers supporters

Something feels different this time“, a top Health Official mused as he reviewed the latest hospitalisation for optimism OD after the Dockers’ 10th win in a row.

Indeed, WA’s Health Department have been tracking an outbreak of pure, uncut belief among Dockers supporters for over 10 weeks now and are growing concerned, with one insider telling The Times,

“Belief in and of itself is not a bad thing but too much too quickly can be catastrophic to a fan base not used to such dizzying highs. Just last week we had a young feller come in high off his nut on wharfie time, it took an adult Rhino dose of Ket to bring him back down so we could treat him”

It’s an experience echoed in nearly every City and Region in WA at the moment, with reports the outbreak had even hit Albany. Out insider coninued,

“There is no fun in an Albany resident’s life so this rapid uptake of pure hope has the potential for some nasty side effects”

If you are worried your loved ones have contracted the rare form of Flagmantleitis please look out for these signs,

  • A sudden and intense love for the man they spent 5 years calling to be sacked,
  • Smiling, especially after Dockers fixtures,
  • An impulsive urge to sell everything they own and move nex to the MCG to save time & money,
  • Giving ’em the ol Freo heave ho, in circumstances where it may not be necessary,
  • Being unable to maintain a purple boner during a Derby win

Please stay safe while authorities rush to develop a vaccine.

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