Frank has stared mother nature directly in her eyes and given her a big faaaancuuuulo! as he pottered out to enjoy his afternoon concrete watering sesh.
Some might not see the need to empty out that hose on his hallowed slab but they clearly know nothing about the intricate art of keeping your driveway wet.
Frank sternly stared down a mix-raced couple as he gripped the hose tighter than the seal on a freshly poured pair of Sicilian concrete slippers. He told The Times,
“Two times the work done! Why would I go inside and wasta this opportunity! You see that, is good concrete, is strong concrete”
According to Frank, one can only achieve perfect levels of saturation when mother nature is doing a little bit of work herself.
A neighbour told The Times,
“I’ve seen that guy out watering his driveway at 10pm at night because it started raining. He calls it L’urina di Dio which we think stands for God’s piss or something”
Indeed, while normal residents rush inside to avoid getting wet, Frank is hitting his concrete watering KPIs as well as every other Mediterranean gent from Spearwood to the holy land.
A nephew of Frank says while he’s notoriously cheap, his water bill is not something he will skimp on. Ever. Adding,
“He says it’s his right as an Italian first and human second to have access to his hose. He also definitely uses his neighbours when they piss off on holiday on the long weekends. He says God fills the dams, he partakes of the blessing”
Anyway you look at it, Frank certainly is a man on a mission. A retiree with purpose and in this crazy world can you ask for much more?
Perhaps to conserve a bit of H20 but anyone who has talked to Frank knows this is a lost cause.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?