BREAKING: Broome Braces For Impact As 25K Eclipsers Come In Hot

Broome is preparing for an absolute smashing as “Cyclone Eclipser” moves ever closer. Over 25k people descended on Exmouth for the total solar eclipse and having exhausted the things to do in the town are hungry for adventure. 

And where does one head to after Exmouth? You head to Broome. WA’s top-end oasis. Caravan parks, local businesses, and public toilets are all waiting to feel the full strength of the tourism storm. 

It’s going to be a multi-national boomer fest of magnificent proportions. Roads will be lined with RVs and nothing will be safe from their wrinkled bargain-hunting claws. 

We spoke to a Broome local who had obvious angst in his eye. It was the look of a man unsure if he’ll get served at a pub in a timely fashion for the next week or so. He told The Times,

“Yeah, nah, nah, nah it’s good for the town, ay but as long as they just stay at Matsos and don’t clog up all the other pubs. Which they will. Fark mate, do you know what happens to me if I have to wait more than 1 minute for a pint?”

Other Broome residents are more optimistic about the invasion. With one clued-in entrepreneur undertaking the mother of all KFC runs after hearing a load of Americans would be coming to town. He told The Times,

“We ran 3 rigs down to Karratha. Came back with everything they got. Going price for a bucket is $100 but we’ll probably end up auctioning them off to these seppos. How long can you store KFC for btw?”

Not long pal, so you’d better take advantage of the first waves of tourists coming in. Presumably later today or tomorrow. Depending on when they left Eclipse Town. 

One such tourist had got up super early to beat the rush. They said all of the town’s unguarded toilet paper rolls were theirs. Lord help Broome. 

RELATED: BREAKING: WA Optometrists Absolutely Licking Their Lips Today

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?