A Belmont dad Brian is currently at breaking point after the second skip bin he ordered for his home renos was violated by neighbourhood opportunists. This comes off the back of the first skip he ordered being violated in the exact same manner.
Now, Brian has ordered a 3rd skip after choosing to be the bigger man and not simply dump the garbage deposited into his skip. He told his family, “not dumping shit is what separates us from the animals“.
Nevertheless, the stress of having to pay for 2 additional skips has taken its toll on the loving father. He has called in sick for the week and plans to guard his skip day & night. Willing to take action if need be.
Brian’s wife grew concerned after Brian moved his beloved chair into a different spot in the lounge room. A spot that had a perfect vantage point of the front yard. She told The Times,
“He’s installed a security light and sleeps in his chair now. Blinds fully open and with a golf club next to his chair. He keeps muttering about the rapid decay of civil society and now skip bin violations happen when good men do nothing”
In the past 18 hours, Brian has charged out of his house over 20 times brandishing his 7-iron like a mighty warrior. Each time, the disturbance has merely been some dog walkers or punks on eScooters.
Brian’s daughter says that she doesn’t know if her dad can handle a 3rd act of disrespect against his skip. Telling The Times,
“He’s been messed about by his tradies so every day they delay is another day some cockroach, as dad calls them, can throw crap into his bin. I worry that if it happens again he’ll really fly off the handle and go hunting”
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In fact, the man is so highly strung that he chased a teenager down the road 50m after the kid threw a used chocky milk carton in his skip. Brian refuses to apologise however,
“I swear to fkn god, the next lowlife piece of scum that even looks at my skip is going to get bitten. I’ll latch on and I won’t fkn let go. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Needless to say, it’s best neighbours respect Brian’s skip this time. He really doesn’t seem like a man you want to mess with right now.
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Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?