Australia is set to experience a rare yet fleeting calm today as the tin-foil brigade switch off their phones to avoid receiving the AusAlert warning today.
The Government suggested having your phone off for an hour so obviously the cookers won’t believe them and switch off their phones for longer. Oh sweet serentiy.
Society can go on socials now without the comment sections being hijacked by inane ramblings that would look better suited written in human excrement on the walls of a padded cell.
We spoke to an inner peace specialist who said the 2 or so hours from about 11-1 AWST today will be heavenly, adding,
“It will almost be better than the time Facebook banned all news and society was able to enjoy social media without having to wade through the river of shit online news has become”
Not everyone is keen on today’s momentary bliss. With one FB user stating he wasn’t sure how to even navigate a comment section without someone saying he sounds jabbed. Adding,
“It’s going to feel pretty strange, I even find myself clicking on fairly dull news just to see what the cooker mind can come up with, it’s quite amazing at times”
Anyone really wanting to avoid the Government’s 8G brainwaves should put their phone in a glass of water for at least 3 hours, however.