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Built in 1930, the Crawley Edge Boatshed is the Instagrammable jewel of Mounts Bay Road. In fact, if a photo was to take your soul, then this bad boy would be a 7th generation ranga.

The first thing one notes about the Boatshed is that it’s popular with tourists and in particular huge in China. In fact, a marriage between two Chinese nationals is declared null & void if their windswept wedding photos are not taken in front of it, but why?

No one really knows, however, given the Boatshed appears as one of Huawei’s standard wallpapers, it is fair to assume that it’s hotter property in China than an unguarded pallet of a2 baby formula.

Of course, it’s not just our far east friends who revere the Boatshed, in fact, any basic-cunt with an entry level Nikon will gladly line up behind 3 bridal parties and 8 couples to get their shot.

If you are running a Perth photography blog and you don’t have a snap of the Boatshed, then what the fark are you doing? Honestly, do you think you’re better than it? Are you going to skip the South Freo Power Station and St Georges Terrace Kangaroos too? You make everyone sick. Line up, take your god damn shot and ensure order is kept in this city.

What should you do while you’re waiting for your turn? Well, best not to look at the road, because you’ll probably see a lot of people mouthing “forfuckssake”. No, keep your eyes on the prize and fret over whether your car is about to get broken into.

Which it probably will, as opportunists love nothing more than cracking a few car eggs to make a property crime omelette. Kings Park Avenue is rife as Tourists usually leave dardy shit in their cars and regular punters can be lulled into a sense of security given Crawley is one of those green-front-yard suburbs.

Of course, the Boatshed also serves a useful purpose as our official rain gauge. It’s so reliable that one can predict just how heinous Perth motorists are going to behave based on how close the water is to the bridge. Total submersion? Better camp for the night kid, because Stirling Highway ain’t moving.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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