BoM accused of breaking sacred Aussie social custom by trying to dictate its own nickname

The Bureau of Meteorology has drawn the ire of Australian social customs authorities today over a press release asking to no longer be referred to as “BoM”.

Instead, it requested to either be referred to by its full name or alternatively “The Bureau”. It’s the latter suggestion that has resulted in serious allegations of trying to choose their own nickname.

In Australian social law, one is assigned a nickname by a third party via an organic process. Much like natural selection, the strongest nickname will survive and all lesser attempts will eventually fade into obscurity. This is how one’s nickname is derived. 

Under no circumstances, may someone request a cool-sounding nickname. “The Bureau” clearly falls into this category. No less due to its association with other badarse institutions such as the FBI. 

We spoke to a leading authority on nickname conventions in Australia who told The Times,

“C’mon BoM – the people have spoken. Obviously, its request was aimed at how the media addresses it but that attitude still trickles down to us. It’s like the new guy at the footy club trying to establish a nickname like Maverick or Diesel. It’s not going to happen”

RELATED: A Definitive Guide To Nicknames

Consequences for the outrageous attempt to dictate a nickname are still unclear. In some cases, the nickname can be adopted by third parties and used behind the subject’s back as a form of mockery. 

In any event, it’s a serious accusation and BoM will no doubt have to answer for its crime. We’d like to say the public will be forgiving but we all know that’s bullshit. 

Especially given the betrayal so many feel over storms that never come to fruition. BoM, lean into your given nickname or risk the ire of the public. 

RELATED: BoM App User Thinks He’s Better Than Everyone Else

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