BREAKING: Fair Work Rules it is Harassment to Bother a Tradie During Smoko

A boilermaker has been awarded a large Red Roota combo and 2 darts after it was ruled that an employer has no jurisdiction over an employee or contractor during the ritual of “smoko”.

Smoko is defined as a time between one’s morning dart and lunch break where a tradie enjoys a half hour break, during which time is more sacred than the virgin mary’s poon. A smoko may also occur in the afternoon depending on whether said tradie can be farked or not.

The ruling came to a head when a foreman asked a boiler marker if he could have a look at some welds halfway through a cigarette and a wildly exaggerated story about his performance in the bedroom last weekend.

The Boilermaker took offence and argued that the foreman didn’t “respect the smoko” to which the foreman allegedly responded, “you’re about as useful as a T-Rex at a reach around party“.

The men traded futher barbs until the boily was satisfied that he’d been given a sufficient level of shits to completely ruin his sacred break. He told The Times,

“Ya just don’t go at a bloke on smoko. I don’t care what pressure he’s under I’m under some pressure myself. You think it’s easy to get down 2L of Dare in a 30 minute break mate? It’s not”

The FWA ruling now makes it law that smoko be respected, regardless of deadlines or any other bullshit factor that will interrupt a tradesman’s 15-30 minutes of serenity.

It is understood that a group of tradies are considering seeking clarification from the Supreme Court as to whether this ruling can extend to members of the public too.

CFMEU was reached for contact but swiftly replied that if we didn’t call back at a more suitable hour they would go slower than an old boy’s piss stream after his prostate flared up.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?