Despite nurturing, raising and giving Bunbury a highway, the ungrateful regional city couldn’t even bring itself to send Perth a text for Mother’s Day this morning.
Bunbury is presumed to either be still charging from a night out at Fitzys or perhaps passed out in a gutter somewhere covered in a thick slurry of overindulgent shame. At least judging by the 3am voicemail it left for Perth which is mostly a series of garbled regional noises.
Either way, Perth says it isn’t holding its breath for a Dusk Candle or a bouquet of flowers from a roadside florist. Adding,
“Bunbury continued to be a disappointment, we are giving much consideration to removing it from our will”
This is in stark contrast to Bunbury’s brother Busso who has already sent a text and arrived promptly and fresh for a classic Perth brunch.
Although, Bunbury doesn’t have to feel too alone in its fuckupery as Gero actually did send a text, but it was just asking to borrow some money.
God damnit Gero! Not today!
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?