Calls for the test to be played at the WACA given a big, hot construction site captures the essence of WA accurately 

Eastern State cricket commentators have laughed at WA’s decision to host the Pakistan test at Perth Stadium given the anticipated low attendance. It can make for some bleak viewing.

Moreover, they can’t get their head around why a resident of Western Australia would suddenly have a problem with sitting around a giant, hot construction site eating Chicken Treat. With many asking, “isn’t that what you lot do every day?”

It’s hard to argue with that. So we asked a local tradie who very much lived that lifestyle, he told The Times,

“Yeah I don’t want to take me work home with me ay, it’s good to get an escape from work sometimes”

We spoke to a Perth Stadium critic who told The Times,

“Cricket is about atmosphere so Western Australians should suck it up and cook like the good little roast potatoes they are. Plus you couldn’t imagine inhaling a bit more construction dust would harm them, have you seen their sprawl?”

To mitigate the embarrassment of a low turnout at the sizable Perth Stadium, they have invested in some weird grassy hill. It’s certainly a start and hopes to capture some of the magic of sitting on the grass at the WACA while developing melanomas.

Although, not everyone shared the passion for more cricket at the WACA. Especially now there is even less shaded area. With one telling The Times,

“Last WACA match I went to I reckon my beer started evaporating! Have you ever had a steaming cup of mid-strength piss? Well, I had 8 and I still wretch when I think about it”

On the flip side, Chicken Treat saves tons of money not having to microwave their chicken rolls at the stadium – given the ambient temperature is enough to get those soggy boys absolutely steaming. The way we like ’em.

So for now, WA is left with the unenviable task of convincing a bunch of people to take Thursday & Friday off work so that the Eastern States don’t laugh at us again.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?